Celiac Disease Isn’t in Your Head - But Some of the Fear Might Be Ep. 117

Do you ever assume someone’s judging you just for asking questions about gluten free food? 

In today’s episode, I share a powerful psychological study that reveals just how much our thoughts can distort reality and how that applies to living with celiac disease.

From restaurants to cafés, it’s easy to feel like a burden when you’re just doing your best to stay safe. But what if the server with the blank stare is actually trying to remember all your requests because they care?

In this episode, you'll hear

• Why your brain might be tricking you into feeling judged
• A story that’ll change how you see people’s reactions
• How to stop apologizing and start asking for what you need
• A mindset shift that can transform your gluten free life

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Music Credit bensound.com 

Chapters

• 0:48 The Psychological Study Revelation
• 3:10 Perception vs Reality With Celiac
• 5:27 Stop Apologizing For Your Health
• 8:08 Finding The Good In People
• 9:46 The Power of Positive Mindset

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:24

Have you ever walked into a cafe and expected that the person that you're going to ask to help you with gluten-free food immediately is going to roll their eyes at you? Now there was a psychological study done that proves that things that we think are happening to us aren't actually happening, and on today's episode, I'm going to talk to you about how this relates back to us living with celiac disease and how we navigate our life going forward being gluten-free. Now, back in 1980, which was the year that I was born, there was a famous psychological study done where researchers applied scars to people, fake scars, using makeup. So what they did was they got a whole heap of people and they applied these fake scars. And what they did was they sent them out into the world and asked them to take note of how people reacted to them, how people treated them with these scars on their face. And the thing was, before they actually stepped out into the world, they removed the scars Okay, the people that had the scars on their faces, the pretend scars. They didn't realize that they'd been removed from their faces, but before they stepped out, the researchers were like, oh, hang on, we're going to make a few adjustments, make a few changes, but what they did was they actually removed those scars and these people, they they went out, they went and experienced different situations and they perceived themselves to be looking differently. So they they immediately immediately believed that other people were treating them differently because of these so-called scars that weren't even actually on their faces, but just because they believed they were on their face. And when they came back, they found out that there weren't, in fact, any scars or fake scars on their face. And it's really interesting because their perception of what happened were things like people were staring at them, people were pointing, people were making rude comments about them and it wasn't actually happening. It wasn't anything to do with the scars on their faces. They were seeing what they thought was, you know, being targeted at them because of the so-called scars.

Speaker 1: 2:46

And I feel like this is such a great way of kind of spinning this for those of us with celiac disease and those of us that have to eat gluten-free, because I see so many people that put this negative spin on the way that they are living with celiac disease and the way that they go out into the world and they are being treated, and they feel like everyone's judging them and everyone's eye rolling and everyone's, you know, pointing the finger. And what sparked this idea for this episode was I was in a Facebook group the other day and someone wrote in there that they they ordered a meal and they said on there the person that served me was thinking this you can't tell me what someone else is thinking because you don't know what anyone else is thinking. So that person was so caught up in worrying about what other people were thinking and they didn't even know that. They didn't even know that that was the truth. So we're walking around stressing about what everyone else is thinking and worrying about us, instead of just getting on with our lives and just getting on with our days and doing what we need to do to be able to keep safe with gluten-free food and make sure we don't get gluten. People are so worried about what other people are thinking when in reality, it's probably not even happening. Most of the time. When people look at you with a blank stare when you're ordering a meal, they may not have any clue what gluten is. They may not have any clue what celiac disease is. So it's not that they're all judging us and it's not that everyone is so caught up in oh, you're a pain in my butt or, oh God, you're on one of those annoying diets A lot of people don't know. So this is our chance to just be at peace with what is going on for us. If you have the time and you feel confident in educating those people, you can take the time to do that.

Speaker 1: 4:49

But, honestly, the way that I live my life with celiac disease is very, very different now to what it was in the early days In 2009,. When I was diagnosed, I was worried about what people thought about me. I was so embarrassed about ordering meals and you asking all the questions, whereas now it's so, so different because I feel confident and I know it's about me. I don't. I don't actually care if someone is thinking negatively about the way that I have to eat or that I'm asking too many questions. I don't let that fill my mind, because I know how important it is for me and for my health. And when I'm ordering from my son, same again for him and his health, and I make a massive point of it not being a big deal when you know he's with me as well, because he's learning from me and seeing that it's just part of life. We just have to ask for gluten-free food, and it's not like I'm apologizing or you know I'm so sorry I'm asking so many questions, or never, never apologize for asking your questions. You need to ask those questions to keep you safe.

Speaker 1: 6:02

So this is basically just a reminder that you get to live your life the way that you want to and you get to go out into the world with confidence if you choose to. And it is all about practice, it is all about time as well. I don't expect that, if you've just been diagnosed with celiac disease, to be like oh yeah, this is great, this is easy, I can go out and do that. But I do want you to know that you can do it. It may take you a little bit of time. It gets easier the more that you do it. But if you avoid it and you're constantly in your head and you're constantly worrying about what everyone else thinks of you, yes, it will take longer, yes, it will be harder, but you know, from study we can see that people, they make things up in their own minds and if you're doing that, it's very interesting to observe.

Speaker 1: 6:52

So I guess the best thing that I could say would be you know. Go out and see what's going on in your own mind, see what's going on in your thoughts and your patterns of how you are looking at other people thoughts and your patterns of how you are looking at other people and you know if you're thinking that they're thinking a certain way. Is it worrying you more than you getting the right questions out? Is it worrying you more what they think about you than getting it all done and getting you know, making sure that you've got all the cross-contact sorted? You're asking all the questions about preparation, all of the things, because that's where mistakes get made, where people are apologetic, and I know so many people. They know what they have to do, they know what they have to say when they go and order meals, but they rush it and they feel like they have to be less than who they are, because they don't want to take up space, they don't want to be forceful and they don't want to. You know, demand what they actually need. So it is very, very interesting that we hold ourselves back from looking after ourselves. So if that's you, I highly, highly recommend that you take the steps to be able to move forward with that, and sometimes it's about training ourselves to look for the good in people.

Speaker 1: 8:11

So you might think that someone's looking at you with a blank stare on their face when you're asking questions and you're going. Oh my God, they're worrying, you know, they're judging me, they're thinking all these things. What if that blank stare is them in their head going? Oh my God, this must be so hard for this person. I really need to remember all of these questions. So when I go out the back to speak to the chef, I remember everything. What if we looked at it that way? What if we looked at it in a different light? What if we put his positive spin on that and think about it differently to what we have been? What if, when you're with a friend and you ask something about a food being gluten-free, and next thing you see them scrolling on their phone and you think they don't really care, but they're actually on Google and they're trying to find answers. What about the barista who wipes down the surface before they make your drink? Or the server who changes their gloves? Or the person that asks you questions so that they can get it right? Notice these things because it happens and there's so many people that make that extra effort In life, we get more of what we look for.

Speaker 1: 9:11

So if you're looking for positive experiences, you will find more of what we look for. So if you're looking for positive experiences, you will find more of them, and the more positive you can be, the more positive comes back to you. It's very, very powerful. So I personally would urge you to have a different mindset shift next time you go and maybe order a meal out and think about it in a positive light and before you even order, this person is going to help me. This person wants to keep me safe Something along those lines before you go into it.

Speaker 1: 9:40

Rather than, oh my God, what if I get gluten? Oh my God, what if I get sick? Instead of thinking negatively, think positive and go in confidently with your questions so that you can get all the questions out and you can get the answers that you need, because it's such a powerful shift in the way that you navigate living with celiac disease and getting gluten-free food. So I hope this has encouraged you to look on the brighter side of life and look for the positive in people wherever you go, because I promise you, it makes such a huge, huge difference to your journey living with celiac disease. So thank you so much for tuning in and I look forward to talking with you again on next week's show. Have a great week. I'll talk to you then. Take care Bye.