Two Words That Could Transform Your Gluten Free Experience Ep. 208

Dealing with celiac disease is one thing—dealing with other people is a whole other layer. From judgmental waitstaff to well-meaning family members who “just don’t get it,” living gluten free can feel like a social minefield.

In this episode, I share how learning about Mel Robbins' “Let Them” theory has helped me stop worrying about what others think about my gluten free lifestyle. I also share a personal experience that completely shifted the way I handle awkward situations, unhelpful people, and even unexpected family dynamics.

This one’s short, powerful, and potentially life-changing.

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Chapters

• 0:48 Dealing with people: celiac's hardest challenge
• 1:36 Introduction to the "Let Them" theory
• 3:50 Bubble tea encounter and mindset shift
• 7:38 Applying "Let Them" to family situations
• 10:51 Practical gluten-free applications and conclusion

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:24

I think one of the hardest things of living with celiac disease would have to be dealing with other people. It's hard enough for ourselves to deal with celiac disease and all of our needs and the gluten-free food, but I think another really hard part of it is other people. The other people that are around us, whether that's, you know, work colleagues, whether that's family, friends, wait staff, whoever. So on today's episode, I want to talk to you about a new theory that I have been learning about, and it entails two simple words that can completely change the way that you feel about worrying about what other people think about your celiac disease and your gluten-free needs. All right, so let's get into it, because this is something that I don't want to hold on to any longer, because I have been learning about this theory and it has been an absolute game changer for me in my personal life, in the things that I think about and worry about, and I wanted to share it with you because I feel like I can tie it in so closely with our gluten-free needs and with our celiac disease, because sometimes it can be just these tiny little things that we learn or these little tweaks that we can change within ourselves and within our mindset, that can make a really, really big difference. Now I have been reading a book called the Let them Theory by Mel Robbins, so if you haven't heard about this, I highly highly recommend you grab yourself a copy of it and read it. I am only halfway through it, but I feel like I've gotten so much from this book already that I just wanted to share with you guys about it, because it's so. I guess transformative would be a word that I would use and the way that Mel Robbins explained it is simply it's to let other people have their feelings, have their thoughts towards you, and just let them, because at the end of the day, we cannot control the way that other people think about us and when you start to realize that if you just let them do that, it changes everything. Now I'm not going to be able to explain this in this episode any way near as in like as much depth as what Mel Robbins does, but I just want to give you a bit of an oversight on how you can kind of use this in your day to day with your gluten free needs. So, for example, if you were to go to a restaurant or a cafe and you order something that is gluten-free and you follow up with that request with asking all the questions that you need to be asking asking about cross-contact, preparation, those types of things and you get a deadpan face from your waitstaff or you get an eye roll or you get a response that is not desirable. I want you to think let them, just let them do that, because you'll probably never see that person again, you don't have to worry about them, they are not affecting you long-term. Okay, you might be feeling affected in that moment, but if you switch it to thinking, let them, you know, let them be that way because they're uneducated or they don't know enough about it. Recently I had a girl deadpan me in the face.

Speaker 1: 3:59

My daughter and I went to the shops and we ordered a bubble tea and in the past I have always ordered a bubble tea from this particular franchise and I've been served, I've been spoken to by the person there and I've been able to ask my questions. And this particular time they've changed and now they have a screen where you order your bubble tea. Okay, so you go up and you select what you want and you put all the choices in what type of bubbles you want, what flavor tea you want, whether you want, you know, plant-based, what type of bubbles you want, what flavor tea you want, whether you want, you know, plant-based milk, et cetera. And we did that and there was nothing on the screen at all about allergies. There was nothing about any preferences, apart from the type of milk that you wanted. So I was like, okay, great, I need to get the attention of one of the staff. So literally you could order your drink. It was made and they called out your name. You didn't have to have any interaction with that staff.

Speaker 1: 4:57

So I went up and I leant over the counter and I was like, excuse me, I've just got a question. And the girl looked at me like, oh, wow, there's a person talking to me. She was kind of shocked and I just said to her look, I'm ordering a bubble tea and the one that I get is normally gluten-free and I just wanted to make sure that it still is. Can you help me with that? And she deadpanned me in the face and she went. I don't know. And I waited because I thought you know what she needs to find a solution for me. So I just stood there and she went. Oh, I actually don't know what I'd be looking for if it's gluten-free. And her demeanor changed. She softened. She got really defensive initially. She softened because I kind of stood there and I'm like, okay, I'm going to let her solve this, I'm going to let her figure this out. And she did. And she told me the only thing that might have gluten in it would be this hazelnut flavoring. And she goes. But I don't actually know what I'm looking for on there. And I went, that's fine. Do you mind if I read the ingredients on it and then I can tell you whether it's okay? And she's like, oh, yeah, yeah, for sure, that's fine. And she handed me the bottle and I was able to read the ingredients on the bottle and I handed it back to her and I said, yes, that's fine. Thank you so much. It is gluten free. I'll go ahead with my order.

Speaker 1: 6:16

I didn't take the time to educate her in that moment because it wasn't. It wasn't the time or the place. There was so much going on. There were people waiting for orders, she was very busy and she was able to help me, but I could have got really peed off at her and, you know, walked away and gone. Don't worry about my order to my daughter I won't have one because she doesn't know but we were able to come to a solution and I honestly feel that the way that I reacted just kind of standing there and waiting for her to give me a response was so powerful because she was able to then come up with a solution to fixing my problem.

Speaker 1: 6:55

And if I look back to when I used to be a flight attendant, when I was trained to be a flight attendant, we were told in our training if you don't know something and you won't know everything. Told in our training if you don't know something and you won't know everything. For example, we would fly over certain destinations and passengers would always say excuse me, what's that down there? It's like we're in the air. I have no idea what that is. So we were told to not lie to people, to not tell them what they wanted to hear. You would always say to them if you didn't know, I'm really sorry, I don't actually know, but I can find out for you. And we would go speak to the pilots or we would go speak to another flight attendant, ask them the question, get an answer for that passenger and come back to the passenger and tell them the answer, because people don't want to be told I don't know and then leave it at that.

Speaker 1: 7:45

So it is very important to get answers. So you know, let people find things out for you, let them be unaware, because at the end of the day it is an awareness thing. And if people don't know how to find solutions for you, let them. Let them be understanding, let them be unaware until they find an answer. So that's just one situation. So think of your family and friends. You know you don't want to be disrespected. This is not how it kind of works. It's not just letting people get away with their BS and acting like douches. It's about letting people think things and feel things and act in certain ways that don't really affect you, if that makes sense. So it can be very deep, it can be very tricky, but it is about letting go of that emotion and that tie to. People should be doing this and people should be doing that Because at the end of the day, it really doesn't actually affect us most of the time.

Speaker 1: 8:52

I'll give you another example. That's nothing to do with celiac disease. We went away camping over Easter and there was 25 of us there, so there was a lot of family that were friends and I'd gone into my camper to do something, can't remember what, and I came out and one of my family members and her family had left, just gone. I was like where are they? And everyone went oh, they, they've gone. I was like gone as in gone home, and they were yeah, yeah, they left, didn't they say goodbye? It's like no, they didn't say goodbye, which I found in that moment very weird and very confusing. But then, straight away, my brain flicked and went oh well, let them. You know, if they didn't want to say goodbye to me, that's on them. Maybe they were busy, maybe they were trying to get their kids in the car. They didn't think about me, they were in a rush, who knows? Who knows what the story was.

Speaker 1: 9:54

But previously, if I hadn't have read this book, I honestly think that I would have got very worked up about this. Think that I would have got very worked up about this situation. I would have felt very upset. I would have felt like whore me. You know, they didn't say goodbye to me, they just left and made it about me, and it probably wasn't about me at all. If it was, so be it. I can't change that. But if it wasn't about me, then you know was so be it. I can't change that. But if it wasn't about me, then you know that's nothing to get worked up about. There's nothing to worry about and stress about for years to come and think that I've done something wrong or that, you know, it's my fault. So that situation has been interesting to be able to observe my emotions and my feelings towards that and know that you know it is something to let go of and not stress about. So it is an incredible way of looking at things. So there are lots and lots of tools in this book.

Speaker 1: 10:51

I, like I said, I'm only halfway through reading it and I honestly really really want you to read this, if you're a reader, and find out more about this theory, because I do see this as such a game changer for everything and especially how you feel with celiac disease and going glued free and the things that you can do in your day-to-day life. So you know, obviously don't let people walk all over you. She talks about that in the book, about not accepting people's behavior as disrespectful or anything like that, but just allowing people to be in their emotions, in their thoughts and their feelings without it hurting you. So I guess this episode is a short one because I feel like it just needs to be an insight into this and to help you delve further. Please get the book, read it, find out more about it, but otherwise let's finish off with some things that we could think about when it comes to this theory.

Speaker 1: 11:55

So let them roll their eyes at you. Who cares? Let them eat their beautiful food and sniff it and tell you how wonderful it is. Doesn't affect you, doesn't matter. They want to be douchebags. Let them. If someone asks you again for the millionth time do you want another bite? Do you want to try this? Why can't you just have a little bit of gluten? Let them. They're the type of people that will never change, no matter how many times we've asked them. Let them. If they're people you can't avoid, let them. So it is powerful and it might be hard to hear.

Speaker 1: 12:34

I'm really interested what the feedback will be on this episode. So I think it's about accepting people for their ways and knowing that some people will never change, but doing it in a way, without putting up with their nonsense and without having to be disrespected. They're two very different things. So I hope this episode has kind of helped you and inspired you to delve deeper into this and to start thinking about how you can add this into your lifestyle, whether it's anything to do with gluten, or it's just family dynamics or friendship, work colleagues, whatever. So, yeah, thank you so much for tuning in and I look forward to sharing more with you on the show next week. Have a great week and I'll talk to you then. Take care, bye.