The Healthy Celiac Podcast

Gluten Free Events Ep. 87

December 12, 2022 Belinda Whelan Season 1 Episode 87
The Healthy Celiac Podcast
Gluten Free Events Ep. 87
Show Notes Transcript

With Christmas upon us, I am sharing some tips to help you feel included and safe this season and throughout the year at other events.

Episode Mentioned: Episode 72 What is Celiac Disease? A guide for friends and family

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www.belindawhelan.com/ultimateceliacsystem

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Music Credit bensound.com 

Speaker 1:

<affirmative>, welcome back to this week's show. Now, I thought it would be timely to talk about gluten-free events, especially with Christmas upon us. Now, many of you have just finished celebrating Thanksgiving recently, and from what I've heard from so many people is it was a very challenging time for those of you that had to deal with family that weren't supportive of your gluten-free needs. And what I see time and time again is people are not advocating enough for themselves. So what I wanted to cover in this episode is about hosting gluten-free events and making sure that you are safe no matter what happens. Because as you know,<laugh> living with celiac disease, it's so important to make sure that the meals that you are having are safe and a hundred percent gluten free with no risk of cross-contamination or cross contact. And it's up to you living with celiac disease to make sure that that happens every time. Now, some of you may have heard me talk about when I got married. So when my husband and I got married, we had a 100% gluten free wedding. Every single piece of food that was served at our wedding was gluten free. And we did that so that I didn't have to stress that any of the food that was being served to me could have been mistaken. And you know, I was served something that wasn't meant to be for me. So the reason that we had a 100% gluten-free wedding was so that I was safe on my special day and there was no possible way that I could get sick. The only thing at our wedding that had gluten in it was the beer. And I didn't drink beer anyway, so I knew that that wasn't gonna be an accident that I would have. But you have every right to host an event that's gluten free. You have every right to make sure that that is safe for you. So that's what I wanted to talk about in this episode. So with Christmas coming up, you may have in the past experienced less than wonderful Christmases because perhaps you've attended a Christmas lunch or dinner and it's a family's family member's house and they haven't, I guess, provided a safe option for you or accommodated you. So what I believe is the safest thing to do is either offered a host at your place, if that's the possibility, or just take your own food. And when I say just, I know that takes effort and I know it takes work, but there's no reason why

Speaker 2:

Anyone should be being excluded. I hear of people being ridiculed and spoken down to because they don't want to feel that they have to eat gluten-free food. So for example, just say your mom or your dad doesn't want to eat gluten free food, and they say that they're not gonna put on a gluten free meal for you because they don't want to eat it. That is so messed up<laugh>, that is so wrong in my book. I think that's just so ex it, it's not inclusive. And I feel sad that that is happening to people because it's really not that hard to make gluten-free options. And that is why I think it's important that we either teach those people in our lives that it's not that hard to substitute gluten-free options or we do it ourselves. So recently with Thanksgiving, there was a lady that shared that she had Thanksgiving at her house and she had naar comments from her family saying that they'll come to her house, but they're not eating gluten-free food. So she has to do normal versions of Thanksgiving dinner for them. And she did. So she made gluten-free version of everything for herself and another member of her family who's also Celiac, and then she did everything again. So everything that she made for herself and her family member, gluten-free, she did a standard version for the rest of the family coming. She said she was exhausted. It was so much hard work and next year she won't be doing it. Good. I agree, that is ridiculous. That shouldn't need to be done. Gluten-free food can be amazing and you shouldn't have to make two versions of everything. You just make a gluten-free version. Don't make a big song or dance about it. Don't make a big deal. People shouldn't know any different. There should be no reason why anyone ever questions that something's gluten free or not. If they're coming to your place for a meal, they should be happy with what they're served is the way I see it. If they're not happy with what they're served, I think says a lot about their personality and them as people that they can't put someone else's needs before themselves for one day, for that one event so that you are safe and so that you are comfortable and you are happy on that special day. So moving forward with Christmas upon us, what are your plans? Are you spending the day with loved ones and they're putting these unrealistic expectations on you? So how can you overcome that? How can you make sure that that day for you is feeling inclusive and feeling part of the family and feeling like you are going to have a wonderful experience? Because it should be nothing less than that. You should always be included. You should always feel loved and nurtured on these special events. So it is time to really look at the situation. Do you need to educate those people in your life a little bit more than what you maybe already have? And that's sharing information. I've done an entire episode on celiac disease, what it is, what you need. So you can share that with your loved ones if you need to. I will put a link in the show notes so that you can share that. And that way your family and friends are a little bit more educated if they're not already and they don't understand your requirements. Sometimes it's just that little bit of education, they just need to hear it from someone else. Perhaps Let me do the dirty work for you<laugh> and teach them a little bit more about celiac disease and gluten-free. Then they might get it a little bit more. If you haven't advocated for yourself enough in the past and you haven't really explained the outcome, then you need to do that. You really do need to share that with your family so that they understand. And if you've done that and they don't give a crap, they don't care, then it's up to you to decide do you want to be around those people on these special occasions or do you want to keep yourself safe and maybe just have it with your immediate family at home. If say one of your parents is discounting your celiac disease or a sibling or someone that's important in your life, but you've also got your own little family with your partner and your own children, then maybe it's more special for you to do Christmas at home. Or you invite those people to come to your house instead and you host and you make sure that all the food that's served is gluten free. There's options. So my biggest thing that I want you to do is advocate for yourself. That's by sticking up for yourself. If you don't stick out for yourself, then you are basically letting people walk all over yourself or walk all over you rather. So advocating for yourself, educating others is a big one as well. And what I always say is, you teach others how to treat you. So if you are allowing people to treat you that way and you have a moan about it behind their backs, it's not gonna get you anywhere. It's not gonna help you move forward into further situations. So for future events, it's not going to help you by you complaining

Speaker 3:

In Facebook groups or to your best friend. You need to talk to your family and have it out with them. If you've done this and there's no positive outcome from it, then that's where you get to make a decision. Do I want to be around these people? Do I want to spend my Christmas with these people? You don't have to. You certainly don't have to. And I know that sounds harsh and I know it's, it's a tough one, but even if you went to your family and you said to them, look,<laugh>, I want to spend Christmas with you. I want to enjoy this day, but I don't feel safe and I don't feel like I'm getting what I need from you, so I'm just gonna have Christmas at home and until you are ready to include me, then I'm gonna miss out. So that's just the way it is. Something along those lines. Now when we talk about events, it's not just Christmas, it's not just Thanksgiving, it's going out for birthdays. It's hosting events at your own house, whether it be a weekend barbecue or a birthday event. You can have it all gluten free. There's no rules. And you might be thinking, yeah, but it costs so much more. It doesn't really, when you are cooking meals, it really doesn't cost that much more if you're cooking real food, if you're cooking things from scratch, you don't have to be buying gluten-free versions of, you know, breads and things like that that do cost more. I agree, they do cost a lot more. You don't have to be serving those types of things. If you were to make a big meal that serves everyone, it doesn't have to cost the earth and you can certainly do it gluten free. I remember in the very early days when my teenage daughter, she would, she was a lot younger and she would start to have friends over and I would cook pasta dishes and things like that. I would always serve her friends. Gluten-free pasta. Never said a word about it, never mentioned anything about the meal being gluten-free. Never have any of her friends in the history of all the time that I've cooked for her friends. No one has ever said anything negative about my food. No one has ever said, oh, this pasta tastes different or tastes funny or, or, I don't really like this. No one ever. So you don't need to make a big deal about it sometimes. Sometimes you just need to cook the food, make gluten free, serve it up, and just that's what it is. It<laugh>. It doesn't have to be a big deal. Sometimes I feel like we make a big deal out of things when we really don't need to. We can just make gluten free food, serve it, people will eat it, people will enjoy it and they won't even know it's gluten free. No one at my wedding would've

Speaker 4:

Questioned that the food that they were being served was gluten free. No one would've even battered an eyelid to think that there was anything different about their food because at the end of the day, it was just a delicious meal and everyone enjoyed it. That I, as far as I know, so we don't have to make a big song and dance about ensuring that there's gluten-free versions here and there's standard versions there. Yes, we can do that. We can certainly do that if we're going to other people's houses, that's an option as well. If someone says, you are welcome to bring your own gluten-free food because I'm scared that I'm gonna make you sick or you know, I, I just don't want to go to that extent because it worries me. Something like that, that's, that's great. They're being honest with you. So you can take your own safe gluten-free food and just keep it separate. Don't put it out with the other food. I know of other people that have taken their meals that they've prepared, they've taken it to other people's houses, they've put it on the same table as everything else, and they've seen that their meal has been cross contaminated because people are using servers from other bowls and dishes and they're getting them mixed up and then it's getting gluten put in there. Keep your meal separate. There is nothing wrong with keeping your meal separate away from everybody else's and serving it away from everyone else. These are the steps that we need to take to keep ourselves safe. There's nothing wrong with it. It doesn't have to be a big deal. You might have heard me talk about once I went to a wedding and I took my own dinner with me because there wasn't gonna be gluten free food there and I made sure that I ate it and didn't make a song and dance about it. A few people walked in on me while I was scoffing it down, didn't even matter, didn't care. Just I had to eat. I was breastfeeding, I had to eat. There was no way I could have skipped a meal and attended that wedding and been on my merry way. It wouldn't have happened. I would've been so ill from not eating. Support yourself first. I don't care what anyone says you are number one, you are not going to enjoy yourself through this lifetime if you don't put yourself first. It is so important that you understand how important it is to be able to feel included, to make sure that you are number one. If you have children that have got celiac disease, again, you need to prioritize their health. You need to make sure that it's not just what's going on internally through food, it's what's going on through the mindset as well. We want our kids to be strong, independent people that can stick up for themselves, advocate for themselves, and know that they have rights and they are important. If it takes for you to do that for a little while and for them to see that you are sticking out for them, do it. Do it until they can speak for themselves and, and stand up for themselves because

Speaker 5:

They will then realize just how important it is. So they're my top tips for you today. So just to recap, please advocate for yourself. Please make sure that you teach and educate the people in your life that need to know that you've got celiac disease. If you are going to someone else's house these Christmas holidays over Christmas, anytime, feel free to take your own food. Make sure that you keep it separate in another area away from the main food. And if you're hosting an event, do not feel scared to host a fully gluten-free meal. You can do what I believe in you and it gets easier, guys. It really does. It's, it's one of those things that the more you do it, the easier it gets and the more you can stick up for yourself and people will start to see that this is part of your life. If this is new to you, if you've just been diagnosed with celiac disease and this is your first Christmas, I can understand you are probably anxious. But it's all about advocating for yourself and sticking up for yourself and speaking and sharing and letting people know what you need to be safe. So that is so important. So I hope this helps you. I really hope you have a wonderful season over Christmas and enjoy this time with family and friends because it is a beautiful time to share food and share joy and laughter and all of the wonderful things that come with this period of time. So yeah, take these tips on board and I'd love to hear from you over on Instagram if this has helped you or if you have any other ideas that you'd like to share with me, that would be wonderful. So my Instagram handle is at the Healthy Celiac, or even if you just wanna share, you know, any feedback on any episodes, that would be amazing as well. Cause I love hearing from you. It really helps me understand that what I'm sharing is making a difference. So thanks so much for tuning in and I will talk with you again next week. Take care. Bye.